I’ve gotten into doing quick, small paintings at the moment. Usually to get myself into the mood before I start concentrating on other works.
I’m really enjoying them, and I love doing skies of extreme colour.
I’m finding them to be a real escape, there is something rhythmic and relaxing in producing them.
I do this every year i think, either the end of January or in February. Unfortunately I cannot promise myself I can get back into blogging, I will try as I do enjoy it.
However I am struggling …
I have SAD, I am 28 years old, I earn a minimum wage, I have to commute 2 hours a day for work, I live with my parents. One of which is so stressed and Anxious that on a daily basis I find it harder and harder to tolerate them, no matter how hard I try to support and take the load off of them. The other is an alcohol dependent depressive who no matter how hard we try to support, help and love just gets drunker and more distant. I have an adult brother also in the house who doe’s nothing to contribute to keep things going. I can’t afford to move closer to work as it’s in the commuter belt for London, I cant afford to move anywhere closer to home due to to how much i need to spend on my commute. For the last three years I have failed to find work closer to home.
I have also for the last two months been suffering Heart palpitations and shortness of breath, especially when I hear any of my other family members talking to each other as I an honestly anticipating yet another argument which will end in door slamming. I have psoriasis on my scalp flaring up and down, and have chewed my nails down to stumps. I know how stressed and depressed I am, and short of going to the Dr’s and being put on antidepressants too, which I really do not wish for, I feel so hideously stuck and incapable.
I have no near by friends I can escape too, the most enjoyable part of the day is sitting in my car by myself.
I can honestly say I felt this low was probably when I was a confused fourteen year old trying to find their place in the world. Or potentially when I was at university being stood in a room full of people and still being the outsider looking in.
I stopped with the art at the end of last year and concentrated on my animals as they at least are non judgmental sounding boards that I can too for companionship and joy. I have begun to get back into it now, but there is a staleness there that I need to get over first.
I do have things to share, I have got a half complete video on using ball point pen for drawing, and some part drafted artistic influences posts, along with many little doodles to share. Infact I would suggest heading to my Instagram for an arty overview (also some Cats and Guinea Pigs!)
I shall get there …
But in the summer perhaps.
Fingertips digging into the softened bark, Gattola strained to hear even the slightest sound of his companions. His. Ears quivering with the exertion of it. Hearing nothing he climbed over the tree roots, landing heavily in the stagnant water that collected about them, the black mud cracking his limbs.
I drew this when I was on holiday last month. I decided to challenge myself with only drawing in ball point pen. Making it so that I would have to concentrate more on the textures. I’m pretty pleased with it. I used to ink draw all the time but rarely do now. I will be using this technique as my next video tutorial, however I have had flu and other colds so cannot talk either very well or without coughing. Once I’m better I will be making the video though! 🙂
A rediculously large version can be seen here
Much unlike my last artistic inspriration, Chris Riddell this lady is a far more recognized artist. Of course she has some years on him though.
Beatrix Potters work has always been present in my life. I had two box sets of her books, that I can remember being read to me from a very early age. I must admit I never remembered the words clearly, other than she wrote about lots of naughty little animals that usually got their comeuppance. Tom Kitten being put into pastry for roly poly pudding, Peter losing his blue jacket and being frightened by Mr McGregor after being told not to go into the garden by his mother, Squirrel Nutkin having his tail bitten off by the owl after he spent day’s teasing and baiting him to name a few.
But the illustrations, how I have always loved them. Not only the subject matter but her skill. The Tailor of Gloucester I believe is one of her story books where her talent for anthropomorphism and story telling through illustrations is so wonderfully shown.
This little mouse, for example. Who has always been my absolute favorite character, in all her ruffles and lace. But the details on the fabric of the garment she is standing on, the mouse who is peeping through at the back and her tiny little fingers.
Or even just this very simple line and wash illustration of the the cat crossing the street. Are all just divine.
But it’s not really her story books, or anthropomorphics that I want to share here, or even that I have been most influenced by.
It’s her beautiful biological and botanical illustrations.
Her mycology illustrations are still used today for identification, and her work in the scientific field of fungus is well recognized, despite at the time a male associate put her theory and work forward as she was dismissed due to being a woman.
Her soft, yet sharp and detailed watercolours are something I have always aspired too.
More and more of Potters works are being released as her diaries, journals and sketch books are displayed and removed from the collections she left them too. Hopefully her work will continue to persevere, as she is is one of Britains most wonderful illustrators.
I have finally at long last worked out how to get some decent pencil scans with my scanner. I have been just about ready on multiple occasion to throw it out of the window.
So thanks to that i’ve now got a decent scan of the drawing from this post: old wounds
It can be viewed here on my Deviantart Page.
I have another drawing I shall get posted tomorrow, and the next in my artisitc influences posts. Apologies for not doing that last month, i’m so rubbish D:
All the world will be your enemy, Prince with a Thousand Enemies, and whenever they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you, digger, listener, runner, prince with the swift warning. Be cunning and full of tricks and your people shall never be destroyed. – Richard Adams, Watership down
Watership down is my favorite book. I shall ever be irked that it is sold as a children’s book just because its about Rabbits. If the characters were people it would be far from child friendly. I first read it by myself at 10, I barely understood half the vocabulary used. A gentleman at my art club today described it was “a reflection of the human condition but through Rabbits” which I feel is quite accurate in a way. It certainly is about how we still fight our hardships and celebrate their victory though we know it will only be fleeting.
I have had the above quote stuck in my head for a number of days now. I’m not certain that the Rabbits at work appreciated me reciting it to them though.
I’ve been having fun playing with oven bake clay the last day or so. Making beads has turned out to be increasingly therapeutic, Especially poking the holes through them!
Any how later this week some of my colleagues and I are going out and two if us decided to dress for our fandom. She is being harry pottered up, I have always loved Tolkien. So I ordered some awesome shoes (which I really hope will be here in time) a middle earth map dress, I already had some Lego Gandalf hearings and other bits. Then if course I went onto etsy and was bombarded with a the hobbit door pendants, and figured I could make my own. So I did. It’s on more of a choker chain so the door sits just above my collar bone. I’ve always loved the image of that little green door nestled into the grass and the earth, even as a small child. My Dad told me an abridged version of The Hobbit when I was about 4. I then diced that I wanted to be a Hobbit when I grew up and not a Triceratops.
My brother asked me to make him a oh so manly anklet for when he’s an embarrassing, English stereotype of a drunken wreck in magaluf next month. I’m almost a bit ashamed, and he hasn’t even gone yet, but I do love the anklet!
I’ve also made myself a bracelet in red and black marbled beads but no picture. I’m really enjoying it, but I really should get on with some other work!
I have been intently bored with work lately , and this past week I have been rediscovering my utter infatuation with the japanese band Malice Mizer. Seriously, I love those guys so much. I always adored Yu~Ki, the bassist. He is a really icon of mine, mainly because he isn’t scared to rock a hat, and i frigging love hats. It was his look that really even made me listen to the band in the first place (aristocratic and orange does it for me it would appear) I’ve always admired how he at home he seemed just playing his instrument in the background, minding his own buisness. I like that he’s a retiring sort of person (who now that the band has well … been disbanded for a long time)the most exciting thing he’s done is make some jewelery. And of course my 13 year old me’s crush on him still re-emerges when ever I listen to their music or i watch one of their concerts.
So I thought, I’m going to draw him, I love drawing him, I like how geometric his face is,(it can be broken down quite successfully into triangle) i like his little f-off frown lines, i like how he dresses. Also I has been a very long time since I a) copied a photo of a person b) used pencils only.
I actually really enjoyed doing it again, namely because I had forgotten how much quicker it is then doing tiny, super detailed paintings all the time!
A larger version can be seen here: http://zompaws.deviantart.com/art/Yu-Ki-552927708?ga_submit_new=10%253A1439297539